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The Life of Riley

Me- Riley, how did you sleep with your new pillowcase? Riley- Great! It's just perfect for a little guy like me.
I'm never playing with Tucker again! I tried to give him kiss and he almost bit my face off.
Oh look at my cute little sister, she's so squeaky.
Mom, you really need to take it down a notch.
Me: Riley, can you go grab my phone for me? Riley: Mom, can't you see I'm busy here?
I am so not throwing that diaper away. It smells horrible.
Oh dad, you crack me up!
Is this where all the pregnant moms come to get cut in half?
Dad, it's really important I brush my teeth every morning and night. I told Mrs Suzan that I saw a lady at grandma Creviston's birthday party with only 1 tooth and she must not have brushed her teeth at all.
Mom, I threw the purple part of my Hulk popsicle away. It tasted like underwear.
Mom, get out of my sight.
Jazz, your such a smelly grandpa!
Can we go on a trip to Mexican?
Dad, I went to Las Vegas and saw the volcano and it almost interrupted all over me!
We were looking at money and Riley said Look, that's Hamber Lincoln.
Me- Raegan is kicking my butt today. Riley- Raegans not in your butt you silly.
Mom, grownup shows are lame! The only shows I like are cartoons.
Mom, W. wasnt at school today. You should call his mom and see if he is sick and needs us to bring him some motrin and sprite.
Mom if you tell me you don't like snakes one more time I am going to tell you that's ridiculous.
Mom you can have the big pumpkin because you are huge.
I don't think that's a good idea.
I'm not ready for bed. Just watch another episode of NCIS.
Why are you being so mean? I want my real mom back.
If you don't let me do that I am going to cry and make you listen to it all night.
I said good day.